Why I haven't watched DON yet.

[sema608]

Remember when I said I didn't watch Don? Well, I still haven't. That time, I put the dvd on and I didn't have the interest to continue. I just couldn't. I never told anyone the real story until now, so I thought I clear it up here. The DON reason is scattered in this post.

I have more time now. The last few months were crazy. I just didn't care for anything anymore. It went downhill from December '06. I lost the interest in almost everything I love. Recently, I quit my job because it was killing me. The second boss was a b**ch and I just had to leave. I fell extremely ill the week of Good Friday and only this week I have gotten 100% of my strength back. The life is back in me. I'm extremely happy now that I've finished all of my tests. I just have one more followup to make sure my health is okay based on the results.

My mind's at peace now. So, I'm getting back into reading about BW, shopping/browsing, just trying to get the fun back in my life. I actually want to play video games. I'm going to watch Don tomorrow. It's itching me for about 4 days now. I can now watch it without this huge burden on my back. I have to find a job now, but I'm not worried. It'll take time, but I'll find one that I like. It was crazy. Tomorrow's great because I'm home and I am planning to chill out.

See what happened was I felt trapped. My dad fell extremely ill and I couldn't leave my job in case something happened to him. He's still sick, but the last few months were hell for him. If something happened to him, who would help pay the bills and mortgage? It was too risky. Plus, it was winter. It's harder to find a job. It didn't help matters when I kept running into conflict with one particular boss. Little by little, I was hating life. I felt sick just knowing I have to go to work the next morning. I just wasn't happy anymore. I was seriously falling slowly into a depression. There's only so much I can fake happiness in front of people, but I'm too obvious with my facial expressions and vibes. It's very noticeable. I just always say "I'm tired." It's nothing.

I've kept this a secret for too long. It was so bad, that I lost interest in SRK's movies. Usually, when I get them, I do watch. SRK's movies are my escape. It got bad. Really bad. I begged my parents for 3 months straight for me to quit that job. They kept forbidding me to do it. Then, one day at work, I had it. I realized this one boss was out to get me. She was on a powertrip and I think she hated that I reported to the VP. She even tried to overrule the VP at times when the VP was away and I enduring yelling and insults each time. To this day, the VP doesn't see it. I've had the director say she's a good manager, yet how come most of her staff quit? I had a talk with her. She already complained that I yelled at her to the VP and got witnesses to testify. She threatened to report me. OMG. It was a nightmare. Human Resources don't believe I would do this. I never ever yelled at anyone at the company. I guess it was the manager's way of getting back at me. I also felt like slave. It became a slave job. I just couldn't tolerate it anymore.

I did my best to keep going. I cried everyday in my room. I begged my parents to let me leave it. It wasn't happening. I looked at SRK's poster for strength. I figured if he can go through so much crap, I could do it, too. I tried. I really tried. Still, I always ended up crying every night. It took that one day where the second manager threatened me and I came home and broke down crying in front of my parents. I couldn't even get halfway through my first sentence. They realized that the job was killing me. I resigned that same week.

I don't ever want to go through this again, taking two positions in one. No matter how hard I worked, I always looked like a fool around that manager. The other co-workers saw it and treated me like crap. HR was useless. Nothing was being resolved. Fed up, I went to speak to the VP. I always got along with her and I was her right hand person. The VP was confused because she said I never made mistakes working for her. I told her it was the manager. She just didn't get it. The second manager is the type to throw you into the fire to make her look good. She always backpeddled. I was left in shock hearing everything in that meeting. It wasn't so bad last summer, but little by little it kept growing. I couldn't do it anymore. It was either fall into a deep depression or find someway out.

Imagine. I finally have some of the pressure off from my father and now this? I not only lost interest in working there, but I didn't care for life. I felt like I entered this depression and I felt one more month, no a week, would have broke me. I'm grateful I had that job as I did like the VP's part of it. However, next time, I won't ever take a job where it's more than one position combined.

So...yes, I have the urge to watch Don and Swades! Yes, Swades! I am going to rewatch RBGG because I'm just in a healthier state of mind. (In fact, I have no clue what I watched in RBGG. I guess I didn't pay attention at all.) Guys, my advice to you in all of this is......If you aren't happy with your job, find something else. Don't leave your job for a little thing, but if you find your health is going, your mind's becoming a mess, and you're losing interest in life, then the job isn't right for you. It's not worth it.

As shocked as you all are, I am going to watch Don. I have to buy Swades, but I have Don in my possession. I really really really want to watch it. I swear.

*sorry the post is long*

[palacerani]

You should have watched Don earlier. Maybe you could have got rid of your boss the way Don gets rid of his enemies.

[sema608]

LOL. Oh boy. I probably would have been in jail then.

[palacerani]

Originally Posted by sema608

LOL. Oh boy. I probably would have been in jail then.

Better place than that work area.

Hang in there, life always comes round full circle. When God closes a door he opens a window somewhere.

[sema608]

Thanks, PR. I'm glad/lucky you're always around. You always make things better. It must be your gift.

[Sema]

I am happy for you that you were able to leave that awful job finally. It sounds like hell and back again.
Enjoy Don and Swades, I like both of them a lot.
Good luck for finding a new job that you like very quickly!

Gruß,
Diana

[nicha]

Originally Posted by palacerani

You should have watched Don earlier. Maybe you could have got rid of your boss the way Don gets rid of his enemies.

i'm glad you are bouncing back and feeling better.

[tanja06]

Oiiii .... this sounded like a complete burn out ..... I'm just fighting against it these days.

But Uma is right: come here, hang around, chat with us, relax and enjoy. All the best to you for finding another, better job.

And please, watch DON and Swades - both are very different but awesome movies, you'll enjoy them very much.... promised !

Waiting for your comments on both movies .....

[sareeka]

It was difficult situation. Unhappy at workj and parents needing your support. You must have felt trapped. You will never regret standing by your parents and to me you sound like you are already on your way to start afresh.
I wish you much luck and you did the write thing posting about your difficult times. It does help to share.

S

[rEd_cHilli3z]

thats great that your feeling a lot better. i think everyones life is like this at one point. life isn't always fun and full of freedom, but now you know what to do. enjoy watching 2 of the greatest shah rukh movies ever!

[sandidi]

Originally Posted by sema608

*sorry the post is long*

Gosh, Sema, this is so sad...and reminds me of my previous job. that job was killing me, but I could see no way out. Fortuntely, an opportunity came up for us to buy a business, which I realise is not an option for everyone. I was lucky...but then, I never expected to be still working at 60!

I'm relieved to hear your father is feeling better now, and that you have some different options available to you. You can be very proud that you stuck it out for so long. Best of luck!

[sema608]

Thanks everyone. Sandidi, you're 60? You sound like 30. LOL. Yes, even a few days after I quit, my father came up to me and told me he regret letting me leave that job. Oh, it hurt. It hurt so bad. I'm looking for other jobs right now. I hope I get one soon as I have school loans to repay. Plus, I give my parents money every week. I don't want them to have to support me financially, too.

Yes, there are many times where I felt trapped. I've even read inspirational books because I was falling into a pit of depression. I'm glad I'm not working there anymore. Half of it was good and the other half was bad. It took time before I became 100% miserable.

My father is very sickly these days. He's doing better now, but his health is not was it used to be. So, I have to make sure I'm in a good position where if something happens I can help. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't the oldest sibling. haha

Anyway, the good news is I'm at peace now and I've finally watched Don. I'm just numb from all the shocks in that movie. I'm hoping there's a sequel because I have unanswered questions. LOL.

[ujjwala]

Now I hope you see SWADES as soon as possible, that is another SRK performance that can't be missed.

[sema608]

Yes, Swades is next on my list. LOL.

I went to the neurologist yesterday to get my results from the hospital and it turns out that sometime in my past, I had a stroke in my left brain. I don't know when I had it. It could have been from the migraines in HS. Could it from those times? Also, it could have been from the migraine I had 3 wks ago. However, it's not a new stroke. I'm on preventive medicine. My dad doesn't believe it. I told him these results came straight from the hospital as I've looked at them myself. There are three tests (the MRI, MRA, and neck vessels) and this is what came up. Everything is fine.

The doctor says I'm too young to have a stroke, but I'm thinking there was a time where I saw white lights in my left eye but didn't think anything of it. I wonder if that was "the stroke". I don't remember feeling pain though. Hmm. It was a few months back. Anyway, I thought I'd give you the follow up.

[rEd_cHilli3z]

i hope your okay sema, inshallah. and yes, see swades!!!